Thursday, October 20, 2011

The hand on my shoulder

As I am about to embark on this new journey motherhood, I couldn't help but share with you the overwhelming feeling I have had the last few days.

I believe in angels, do you?

I know we all like to think we believe in angels, but do you really believe?

I have five angels that I know and talk to pretty often (no, I'm not crazy) but they are loved ones that I have lost that are "with" me.

I know they are with me.

I can't see them, but I can feel them,

They keep me grounded when I know I am out of line.

They keep me sane when I am losing it.

And the watch over me when things are either really fantastic or tragically horrible.

I sometimes forget about these angels, it usually only takes a small moment in a day to remind me that they are always there.

I had a "moment" on Monday and have had it every day since.

On Monday morning as I was walking to the car to go to work, I got this overwhelming feeling of a hand on my shoulder.

I crossed my arm over and felt my shoulder, as if to hope that it was my husband's hand who was next to me.

Fortunately, it wasn't.

I brushed it off, and kept walking.

It happened two more times that day.

The second time, I brushed it off again.

The third time, I looked up, smiled, and said "Hi Daddy, I know you're here."

You see, this hand on my shoulder that I have felt everyday since Monday, is my Daddy.

I lost him at the age of nine, but I have not really lost him.

He is always here when it matters.

When it counts.

The last time I really felt his presence was my wedding day and now this week.

I wonder if you all have a "hand on your shoulder"?

Even if you don't feel it, you do.

I promise.

Even if you don't believe in this "stuff", I believe for you.

I want you to know you are all loved.

Know there is someone, proud of you.

Rooting for you.

I can't wait for my Daddy to see Baby Stace.

I know he will be proud.

And I know he will watch over Baby S, just as he has me.

The next week is up in the air and completely unpredictable but this hand on my shoulder makes it all ok.

Even though I am anxious, nervous, excited...

I know my family will be ok, because I can feel the hand on my shoulder.

Love, Peace, and Family,