Saturday, June 26, 2010

Porridge, anyone?

You all have figured out by now that I am a little OCD, well a lot OCD, so of course I have a routine putting the house to sleep every night.

Because of my "quirks" I choose to be the "man of the house" and shut it down every night.

I am sure you are wondering what actually needs to be done, it can't be that hard right?

Well, yes and no.

I have to make sure both the front and back door are dead bolted, the appropriate outside lights are on or off depending on their location, let the dogs out one more time to go potty so they don't wake me @ 4:47am like they did today (that's for another day, another post), turn the light off in the kitchen, fill the dogs' water bowl, turn off all tv's, put the remotes back in their place of domain, fix the pillows on the couch that I know have somehow gotten out of place, etc.

So you get the point right?

Thursday night I forgot the most important step:

Putting the dog gate up!


You have no idea how important this step is.

When this step doesn't happen, all hell breaks loose in my house.

A said as soon as he woke up and saw that Fraulein was not in her kennel, he knew we were in for some surprises.

You see, she is trained.

And when I say trained, she is not trained like Morgan. Well, no one is. Morgan had a special upbringing and great role models as far as how to be a good dog.

Fraulein on the other hand, not so much.

Her early years consisted of college daze and bachelor pads.

You get the gist right?

She was allowed on all beds, couches, and chairs.

That was before, I came along.

Thursday night she turned into Goldilocks from the GoldiLocks and the Three Bears story.

She tried out every resting place she could find.

The guest room bed, the couch, the other couch.

I wonder how many times she switched back and forth.

The life of a dog must be grande, well I know it is for this dog.

She left a trail of white hair on all furniture, so instead of drinking the porridge, she left hair as her evidence.

Geez. I forget one step of my routine and this is what happens.

This, once again proves that my nightly routine is not ridiculous, it is MANDATORY.

Here's to drinking the porridge and having your cup runneth over,

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Summer Fresh

I have a had busy last few days. Mainly because I have had these two munchkins visiting me.

I have to say they are the sweetest two little girls in the world and they make the idea of two kids 18 months apart seem not too scary.

I guess the jury is still out for me, but if I am lucky enough to have girls like them, sign me up! Where's the sign-up sheet?

The saying "the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree" is correct and 100% accurate with these two.

They have the most amazing mother and friend to me who I often turn to for advice. They are super lucky to have her as their mother and will one day be amazing women just like her.

Moving on, a couple near and dear to our hearts shared their vegetable co-op with us this past week so we were spoiled and able to experience fresh local produce at our house.

Isn't this the most beautiful display of vegetables you have ever seen.

The colors excite me all on their own. I just adore all veggies.

Thanks Mom for making me eat them when I was growing up!

This got my head spinning thinking of new different ways to cook and consume FRESH produce.

I also just happened to come across an article in my Southern Living magazine that sparked my interest.

I have always wanted to can and make sweet pickles or pickled okra.

So, I decided to give it a shot. This reminds me of my Great Aunt Dee and my Great Grandmother Nanny Goat.

These women both seemed like Angels from Above to me. They were perfection in the kitchen and I always wanted to be like them, I just didn't especially like the prep-time involved when I was little. " Too much work", I always thought as a kid.

Now, I understand the process.

I found this recipe online.

It was described as simple and there you go. It had my name all over it.

I had to skip a step because not reading the details, I did not realize I needed special canning items. Such as a "hot water bath".

Apparently, canning is some serious business. They taste awesome and I can't wait to have them with a bloody mary, but because I skipped the "hot water bath" step, they will not last as long as a true canning recipe would. This means they will not last a year plus, but will last weeks. They will be gone before then anyway, so this is ok for now.

I am now on the hunt for some canning supplies.

Wish me luck @ my new amateur hobby.

Still needing to eat the veggies before they go bad.

I found a recipe on one of my favorite blogger's blog. Katie @ The Perks posted this recipe for Summer Succotash yesterday and I had everything I needed except the onion and corn so I went to the store and whipped this up last night.

I made a small adjustment to the recipe and added a dallup of my homemade pimento cheese! Yes, you said it.

It was yummy! Oo-La-La.

I just love cooking. It is becoming my newest hobby. I just feel bad for all of my closet friends and family who have to be my guinea pigs. It is sometimes hit or miss when you are trying something new.

Here's to trying new hobbies and Summer Fresh Produce!

* Please note, I apologize for the poor picture quality. These were all taken from my iPhone. I am in the market for a small digital camera if anyone has any suggestions.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Once a CD user, always a Dork.

On a recent trip to the Apple Store for my "Intro to your iPad for business professionals" class, I found myself being that annoying know-it-all. You know the ones, you want to slap.

Because they have either read the class material ahead of time or have had some sort of experience on the topic and love to brag to everyone else in class.

I did not find myself bragging, but I did however, nod in agreement to every thing the instructor said.

I nodded because I did know that everything he was saying was in fact, correct.

How to turn it on.

How to set-up your email.

How to order apps from iTunes.

How to move the icons to your liking.

I knew all of this since I own an iPhone and I own a MacBook.

Putting these two together, teaches a lot and is sort of like a pre-requisite for the iPad. It made sense naturally to get one and it was an easy addition to my electronics collection.

The other attendees were not in the same boat.

Of the 6 people in my class, two owned iPhones and the other 4 are still using rotary phones (haha) so it was an interesting class to say the least.

All of it, I knew and just shook my head in agreement.

I could not help myself, I am head nodder, I suppose.

Anyhow, when he finally began to speak on a topic I did not know.

My ears perked up and I stopped nodding.

Thank heavens for 7-Eleven.

I realized what I had been doing and I was sure the instructor was irritated by me.

Heck, I was irritated by me. I was wondering why I even came to the class and was just happy he was talking about something I did NOT already know.

My fellow classmates were asking me questions and talking over him because they perceived me as an expert.

Eww.. I did not like myself this way. Yuck.

The instructor began to speak about iWorks, for all you PC-users this is like Microsoft Works. Your typical word, powerpoint, excel but in Mac terms.

I had been wondering how I was going to get these programs onto my iPad.

Without hesitation and zero thinking, I yelped..."Yea, I have been wondering how I was going to get that CD into my iPad"

Simultaneously, holding my iPad in the air showing him that there is no insert for the CD-Rom.

The instructor busted out laughing and so did I.

People, there is no Cd-Rom on an iPad, it is not a PC. Hello!!!!!!!!!!

McFly, wake up and smell the coffee!

He quickly said,"Yup, great question"

You know he was thinking, "if you would just shut up, maybe I will tell you"

I could not stop grinning because although my statement was half a joke/ half my stupidity: I happen to laugh at my own jokes.

The answer to the ? is, you download the programs from the app store for $9.99/each.

What an easy solution.

I still think it would be way cooler if I could insert the Cd into it.

Oh well.

Once a CD user, always a Dork!

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Are you an inventory taker?

Recently I had a conversation with a special person in my life and she expressed her disdain for an inventory taker in her life.

What do I mean by inventory taker?

Not this....

What I mean by inventory taker is- someone who takes score, remembers your mistakes, tells you your weaknesses, that sort of thing.

I know you all know one.

Sort of like, Jill Zarin on the RHONYC.

You know, that friend that wants you to write them a thank you note for them sending you a thank you note.

This concept makes me laugh, just thinking about it.

Inventory takers are exhausting and their motives are skewed.

I "used" to be great friends with an inventory taker and quite frankly the negatives outweighed the positives so I had to pry myself away from that friendship.

As a friend, you are not supposed to feel guilty if someone gives you a nice gift and you don't reciprocate.

How the h*ll are you supposed to know that the two of you are exchanging Halloween presents. I mean, come on.

I give gifts out of the kindness of my heart with no expecatations.

Inventory takers, are watching your next move waiting for you to make a mistake.

If you have 1 inventory taker or even 2 in your life.

Run. Fast.

Tell them to go stock the shelves somewhere else.

You have some shopping to do!

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Sometimes you just gotta......

Sometimes you just gotta:

Stay in on a Saturday night and BLOG

Let your spouse/partner be right, it's not worth the fight

Kiss your dog on the lips (I know I know some of you think this is gross. Not french kiss though like Jill Zarin from RHNYC)

Not make your bed (I am taking my own advice tonight and gonna try this again. My OCD'ness gets in the way and I have never successfully done this)

Go to your town's Saturday Farmer's Market (a must here in Charleston)

Buy an expensive piece of ART (you only live once)

Drink beer from a can (brings back memories, hey?)

Go without polish on your toes (it's like letting your toes breathe again)

Drink/Eat yourself silly, and then....

Give yourself a break, you can workout tomorrow

Realize that people are crazzzzzzyyyy!

Love your family, even when they make you crazy

Not wear make-up for an entire weekend

Hang with your friends, adult conversations are extremely important to all you Mommies out there!

Clean your house, ugh. No one likes it, but the results are stunning!

Go to the beach and not say a word to anyone. Just listen to the waves. Complete silence. My dream.

Have a homemade Pina Colada, holy yum! (A's are the best!)

Sing your heart out in the car with your windows down and not give a hoot if anyone hears/sees you

Give a hug to a friend

Volunteer! Don't forget to give back to your community

Stand up for your friends even when you know they are wrong

Wear your slippers out in public. (This seems to be popular in my house)

Buy a $30 lipgloss or $60 candle (just make sure you actually use them, don't save them for a museum display)

Realize your Mom is right (sometimes) ;-)

Pray. (Amen)

Read a trashy magazine (ie. celebrity gossip) and not feel bad about it.

Breathe. 1-2-3, 1-2-3

Watch the sun rise. Magic.

Watch the sun set in Key West, Fl. The best.

Yell really loud.

Admit when you are wrong. (I find this a very wonderful trait for someone to have)

AND...for all you men out there...




Laughing at my own humor.


Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Kids say the darndest things!

Today is National Running Day so I decided to torture my body and run for the first time in a while.

As I geared up, earphones and all, the "kids" next door ran up to me outside of my house and yelled, "Ms. Kelly where are you going?"

Note: Kids= three sisters next door, plus 5 cousins. A mix of girls and boys.

Shanasia, Aailyah, Angel, Jamal, Windell, Maya, Ti'neece, and Jamaya.
Whew, that's a lot of kids!

I said, "I'm going running"

Jamaya, who rarely speaks says "Why you goin' runnin" you're skinny!"

I immediately love this child even more than I did two seconds before her praises towards me.


I literally started laughing and said, "well sometimes you just gotta run. thank you though!"

She smiled and said "You're welcome Ms Kelly".

Then she wrapped her arms around me and asked if I had a lollipop for her.

Funny thing, I gave her a lollipop two years ago and she always asks me this.

I appreciate her hugs and all, but she definitely associates with me as the candy lady.

I was about to lecture the kids on the fact that even though she thinks I'm "skinny", it's not just your weight but your heart and you have to keep it moving.

I smiled to myself and thought, no way.

Today I am duty-free of having to teach these kids a lesson.

Tomorrow is the last day of school for them and I know they are in no mood to hear about how to live a healthy lifestyle, the fact that they should read for 30 minutes before bedtime, or how they need to be more kind to each other, after all Family comes first.

They are frankly so sick of my life lessons it's a mystery to me that they still knock on my door every evening when I get home from work.

As I started down the road for my evening exercise, the kids waved me off and yelled "have fun Ms. Kelly".

These kids are a trip. I love them.

I love the way they make me smile and they remind me how the sweet little things in life can completely transform your day.

I highly suggest that you all go out and befriend a fews kids.

They're the best!

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

quit yo' b*tchin'

True Story:

A young handsome husband decides to take his bride on a boat booze cruise on a HOT afternoon on the Copper River. After gearing up the boat all day and getting it "pretty" for his wife he is excited, yet has a premonition that something may go wrong.

You see, this is the first boat ride of the season and he knows he has been working to get it in tip-top shape. He also in the back of his mind, remembers that he made a deal with his lady that he would not include her in the first ride of the season in fear that something may go wrong.

Several reasons why attached here:
First, He doesn't want her to be bothered with being stranded on the river if something were to happen
Second, He doesn't think he could handle it if some thing did happen due to her constant bitching and asking how could this happen
Finally, refer to the second reason.

OK, on to the story.

So, everything is grand. They are smiling and laughing on the way in the truck. They make a special trip the Teeter to get the cold beverages of their choice.

The boat ramp isn't too packed. It's hot as heck but they are happy as clams to be together and pretty stoked about the fact that they are about to embark on an epic first of the season booze cruise together.

All is fabulous in the world of this couple.

Not for long.

Not five minutes into their glorious ride the man says, "Did you hear that, the engine doesn't sound right?"

She immediately looks at him and says, "Sounds fine to me"

She did not think it was fine, but she decided to be positive (her role in the relationship) and keep her mouth shut.

In 2 seconds flat, the engine dies.

She looks around and thinks "No flippin' way".

She tries not to say anything. She tries so hard and it just comes out.

She fastly and sarcastically says out loud, "I don't understand, how could this happen? You've been working on the thing all day. Why would we come out here if this could possibly happen?"

She thought. Insert foot here. She needed masking tape for her mouth, but it was already too late.

I cannot say his response because this is a PG story. Well, maybe PG-13.

She realizes she has just set the tone for the rest of the day. If she would have only kept her mouth shut.

They were in the middle of the channel and the current was pulling them pretty quickly.

He drops the anchor in attempt the keep the boat from moving into the channel any further.

It doesn't work. The depth of the water is above 45 feet, the rope is too short for waters this deep. He brings in the anchor quick and grabs the paddle.

That's right. The paddle.

The cute cute man paddles and paddles and paddles and paddles.

The wife wishes she could help, but there is only one paddle.

She is concerned for his back and his foot. She feels helpless while at the same time sits back, enjoys her cocktail, and admires her husbands dedication to his boat and her.

She realizes he is trying to make it right and for her to be happy as quickly as possible.

She begins to cheer him on. "Go baby go! You got it. Keep going"

The closest public dock is nearly impossible to get to because of the current.

After many attempts to get other boats' attention. She blows the whistle loud enough for a boat at the private club to hear.

They wave them over and a family of three boys and an old chocolate lab save the day.

They agree to tow the couple back to their public ramp they launched from.

What nice people? she thinks to herself.

The man reminded her much of her deceased dad. Croakies around his neck, yellow shorts, and a tan to die for. She thinks it first and then says it out loud to her husband.

How quickly, her mind raced back to her childhood and the days on the boat with her dad.

She began to smile and realized this was a story. This was not a bad day on the water, this was plain ol' fun.

As she came back to future time in her mind, she realized her husband was doing all he could to satisfy her and she felt an overwhelming feeling of peace.

You know, peace love and happiness.

That kind.

As they approached the ramp, the professional boat towing company pulled up next to them and yells to the family helping, "You're taking my business away from me!"

He was being funny, but it was true.

He was towing a much larger vessel. The kind that looks like it should never break down. You know, the 80 g's kind, the mansion kind. Heck it was a fishing boat that looked like a yacht.

They all sort of smiled at each other knowing they had all been through hell and back. Breaking down and all that comes with it.

There were four breathing beings on the other boat. A man, two women, and a springer-spaniel.

The adults were in their mid-60's, as southern as they come, and as distinguished as a glass of sherry.

They were nice and glad to be at land. The dog was so happy it jumped off the boat onto the pier and ran until no one could see him anymore. His name was Beaufort.

As the wives stood together watching their husbands get the boats onto their trailors.

The young wife said to the other two ladies "I just don't understand why this happens"

The one older lady said "Honey, just be glad he wasn't by himself (sounded like heemself, with the southern draw)"

The young wife responded back "He said he wished he had been by himself"

The lady chuckled, "Because you were bitchin'. Quit yo' bitchin and he'll want you around"

The young lady laughed because she knew she was right.

The lady said once again "Listen to us old ladies, and quit yo' bitchin!"

She laughed knowing that even though she had just met these two older ladies, they knew her to a T. Why? Because they used to be her and they knew they didn't get anywhere complaining.

The young lady could not help but laugh.

She got in the car lauging and her husband wanted to know what was so funny. She told him the story and he said, "They really said that to you?"

She said, "Yea, and they are right"

The husband laughed in spite of all that happened. He knew his wife had learned a lesson and maybe she would officially quit her bitchin' on the water.