Friday, April 23, 2010

How many drinks did you have?

Ever asked a significant other/husband/boyfriend/wife/girlfriend "HOW MANY DRINKS DID YOU HAVE?"

I know I have. After an evening out with the "boys" this questions is always asked.

Why, you ask? Well.

Maybe it's because my husband always comes home "chatty kathy" or has some crazy business idea or has a lot to say and wakes me up to say it.

Come on now people!

I support guys night 100%, I feel it is a must in order to stay in tune with your boys, catch up on life, and relax a little. I totally get it, and will never keep you from this.

I actually sometimes ask "When is your next guy night?".

Mainly, so I can have a break, but whatever the reason.

Go flourish, Enjoy!

BUT, when I ask you"HOW MANY DRINKS DID YOU HAVE?" do not look up into the sky and make up a number.

This is considered a fib. Tell me for real because I will know if you are lying.

One quiet night, a man comes home to his wife and two dogs, walks in the bedroom and starts to chat to his wife in the dark. Did he bother to ask "were you sleeping?" Well, no. Of course not.

The wife begins to listen to his crazy ideas, political views, etc. and then simply asks "HOW MANY DRINKS DID YOU HAVE?".

The man quickly answers, with no hesitation and no breath. TWO!

The wife says TWO?

OK, well then "HOW MANY DRINKS DID YOU HAVE at the house before you went?"

He shyly answers, ONE!

Ok, so here's the deal. He should have answered THREE! But instead, he answered the way that would make him to be perceived in a positive light.

You see women, we are smart.

We know what to ask next if we think you are only telling us HALF of the story.

Tell us the whole story when we ask in the beginning and then you won't be fibbing.

Tonight I am going to have ONE cocktail! Well, actually.
ONE at home.

ONE before dinner.

TWO after dinner.

Does this mean, I am going to have ONE, TWO, or FOUR?

Come on now. It's simple MaTH.

To all of you who will enjoy a simple pleasure this evening, enjoy your cocktail(s) and HAPPY FRIDAY!


  1. LOL! One of my favorite morning activities is trying to count how many drinks (and where) I had the night before...and then I add two for good measure - how many drinks did he have? We'll be having countless drinks tonight my friend!

  2. Mine & Brian's conversation Sunday morning:

    Me: So did you have a good time last night?
    B: Yeah, it was a good time/I had fun (or something to that effect)
    Me: Did you drink a lot? (already knowing the answer b/c I found him passed out w/ tv on and uneaten food on the coffee table)
    B: Well, remember I hadn't drank in a while
    Me: Oh, okay (laughing hysterically inside; clearly he had a few weekends to make up)

    What the heck was that?! I am really thinking it was in the water over there in the Meadows; just be a straight shooter already!

  3. Jodi, this is a classic BC story. So funny.